Toronto 07

I’m so completely exausted!!

It’s disgusting really… I can hardly keep my eyes open, I’m probly going to head to bed soon, which makes me feel very selfish somehow.

I had an amazing time with KATE in TO. 

Greatness… loved seeing the sites but I have blisters of death on my heels   I’m sure they’ll go away in time to wear some scandelous shoes that will give me new blisters though.

    

toronto-trip-212.jpg

 Sorry.. I’m finding it very difficult to organize my thoughts… and a lot of the reason is because things are not going excatly like planned with work/alberta and whatnot.. and I cant really say too much about it online.  Just keep praying guys… I really want to go for this oportunity!!

blooming spring :)

Saturday-Sunday with Miss Laura Malloy

Again… good times!! (it was a good weekend)

Laura may have still been in bed when I got there, which was fine with me… we proceeded to spend most of the day dozing, and ‘watching a movie’ (I fell asleep) and listening to trolls, and reading the dumbest book that was put out by the ‘good people’ at eharmony, it’s about finding your soulmate.  This book was bought from the Christian bookstore AND recomends girls kiss guys to see who they are most compatable with.  Ya.. dont buy it for your daughters.

Ate out at the bishop and firkin, the food there is always good, but was of course better because we each got $5 off for filling out a servey!  Yay!

There were good times involving side-walk chalk… here are a coupld of our creations:

 

Church was awesome on Sunday! It was on Psalm 143.  Some points from the service:

- What happens when you feel you need some understanding or some reason from God, but it feelss as if God isn’t talking/moiving working in your life?  Have you ever felt like God has betrayed your trust?  It is a t these times we are put at the crossroas… you can become dehumanized and bitter, or you can embrace God in the midst of your pain and confusinon and become radient in and FOR Him.

- God works through yeilded people who pray.

- Jesus: a man of sorrows familiar with suffering

- There is no pain we encounter that God does not suffer with us in.

- Compasion literally means ‘to suffer with’

- Where is God during these times?  He is in the heart of the suffering, with the suffering.  The Hindus would feel that at these times they are paying off god for past bad karma.  The budist would say during these times you’re are holding something to close/improtant to you and so god is taking it away.  The muslim would say that question is nonsense, god is to great and ultimate to even ask/understand that question.  The athiest would have no point to ask the question at all…. and therefore they all have no hope.

- Without pain we can not reach a cure.

- “I believe that I might know” – Agustine

- 2 Corinthians 9-11:  Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death.  But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.  He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us.  On him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers.  then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many

- Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? Who am I? We answer these questions everyday/define ourselves everyday by how we live.  Think: What is the purpous of a fruit tree?

Held: Natalie Grant

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)

So ya… good weekend, but lots to think on, gotta go, have a good one!  Oh, and Nikki, praying for you today babe… getting your wisdom teeth out is never fun, but I’m sure you’ll pull through!

Friday to Saturday with Anna-Marie: a quick overview

Good times all around!!

Got to see the movie Amazing Grace!  Fabulous film, very moving… and convicting.  What are you fighting for?  What are you willing to dedicate your lifes work too?

Headed over to The Bean Bar.  WOW. This place is in Hamilton, right next to the theater we went to.  It’s awesome.  The food is good, the atmosphere is great… seriously, find a date, go there, love it.  Oh, and I recomend their lattes and cheescakes!!

Saturday morning we headed out to Earls Court Gallery to see the encaustics by Petra Zantingh.  Loved it!  If I had money, there were a few I would have invested in… here is a link to just a couple of her pieces: http://www.earlscourtgallery.ca/Petra%20Zantingh%20preview.html

Naturally we took some photos too….. I have a whole bunch up on facebook, but here are my two favorites from the day:

 

So ya, good times for sure!  Of course there was lots of talking, and now I have a lot of processing to do, but that’s alright with me.  

Thanks again girl!

busy busy

Soooo… update time?

I’ve been keeping super busy with work, library comittee stuff, and a lot of trips to the gym with Lish and Janelle (always a good time… I love it!). Today is my second day off this week and it’s so nice to have a breather!!  I’m actually not driving myself too crazy because of the free time, which is a lovely change.

Yesterday was a blast.  Was at Phil and Lauras all morning for the Ladies Bible study closing brunch… everyone brought so much good food, and it was really enjoyable (once Laura, Mom and I got everything set up and ready for everyone)  It was so nice to be able to sit out on their beautiful deck and enjoy the sunshine and gardens.  Mmm… pictures are on facebook. (because seriously, if you arnt on facebook then you’re just silly… what are you waiting for?)

After the brunch-thinger I got a hold of Lish, and after some entertaining and super confusing MSN chatting (thank you msn for mangling our messages) we finally decided to head to sarnia to make the most of a glorious day.

    

Activities included (but were not limited too):  bringing Janelle an ice-cap at work, randomly meandering around sarnia trying to find ‘the back way into the park’, walking by the bridge, spotting some fisherman, going to the animal farm, taking a million pictures, walking through canatara, trying to find an unlocked washroom in the park, going to the beach portion of canatara, sitting in the warm sand, getting cold in the wind, checking for tan lines, getting a kiddie size scoop of icecream and enjoying it as much as humanly possible, going BACK to the bridge for some bench-goodness (with the icecream of course), finding a random artshop that I cant wait to explore next time I’m downtown, forgeting to buy fishfood for Brians goldfish, which is SOOO going to die now and it’s all my fault.  Sorry Brian.

Ya.. I was so tierd when I came home.  All that sunshine and fresh air really did me in, but I felt bad for skipping the gym (even though I did all that walking) so after a delicious dinner (thanks mom – cuz I know you are reading this) I went power walking across wyoming, back and forth, until my legs AND my mp3 batteries died.  Then I crashed on the couch watching reality tv, and spent a wonderful night in clean sheets which had been hung outside to dry.  =D  I love the clothesline, I tell ya… Mmm… so nice!  The only problem is my allergies are mad today, my eyes are so red and watery and itchy =P Oh well, totally worth it still….

I’m super excited for this weekend.  I’m going to an art show friday with Anne-Marie and then go to Lauras saturday.  It’ll be good to be back in that neck of the woods again.

Sadly, tomorrow is already my last day with Helen, my student from the college.  She rocks, and unfortunitly isnt going to be applying for a job with us because she wants to move back home.  Sigh.  And my worst fears about this came true.  She has fallen in love with me, and I’ve become quite accustomed to her calling me ‘JuBo’ and saying I’m cute after I say or do any random thing at all   I’m also going to miss her kite-flying adventure stories.  Oh well… such is life… and she’s on facebook, so it’s not like we will be going into complete withdrawl.

So there you go, a bunch of randomness so you know I’m still alive. 

I’ve got some huge issues with NBC news…

Wake up…

make breakfast….

pick up news paper….

get SLAMMED with an image that NBC News say it received from Cho Seung-Hui, the shooter in the Virginia Tech attacks.

They say it was ‘a multi-media self-portrait of destruction.’  He’s posing like 33 people likely saw him moments before they died.  There is a burning rage in his eyes,  but a strange sadness to his face as well.  He felt he only had one way out, and stated that ‘my blood is on your hands and will never wash off.’ 

You can say, that he was obviously a madman.  I probly wouldnt disagree…

But is NBC mad for releasing these pictures??

Even after his death Cho Seung-Hui is getting what he wanted.  His said his only option was death, but he chose to go down the way he did, and to take so many young people with so much to live for out with him…

I’ve really got some huge issues with this.  It’s touching a nerve that is very open to me. 

Like everytime I see a news-report shows families at a cemetery, broadcasting their final moments with a loved one… or when you hear the stories of some of the surviving students of the VT shooting who had there contact information taken off facebook, and now are flooded with prying emails to ‘tell US your story’. 

Ya.. I realize they chose to put the information online, in public… it’s the lack of respect that is bothering me here…  If these students really felt the desire or need to share a very tramatic and life-changing story to the world, I’m sure they would find an outlet to do that.

I have all these thoughts still processing in my mind…  havnt even finished my morning coffee yet.. but I have the overwhelming feeling that this is just not ok.

Did any of these families really need a startliing image like this one added to their nightmares?

Does the media really have a right -0r a responsibilty- to show every detail of every video shot on every cellphone at VT that day? Would there have been an outcry of people demanding to see this picture if NBC had decided that it should be kept private as long as possible out of respect for the victims and their loved ones?

If it was your sister/brother/best friend/coworker being dragged, bloody and motionless from a crime scene by a team of SWAT would you want the world to see it broadcast once every five minutes for a week, and once every news story regarding the incident for a year, and maybe three or four times every anniversary of their death, and available for viewing or download on youtube whenever someone needs a good dose of reality?

Just some thoughts… might add more… off to get a second coffee…

*gasp* I’m in EXPLORE x SIX!!!!

Who knew??  I’m shocked…

If you dont know what I’m talking about, explore is the top 500 photos on flickr by ‘interestigness’  (which not totally defined by flickr what that means….) Still… the highest any of mine is ranked is #254, but still… I’m kinda excited about that…

praise you in this storm

 

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the past couple weeks….. wow…. ok, try again…. Over the past couple weeks I’ve gotten so much encouragment from people that I had taken for granted.  The mail, emails, messages, phone calls and visits have been such a blessing…  people that I didnt even think knew me as more then an aquantence and encouraging me, and uplifting me in their prayers, and I’m SO grateful, you all have no idea!  Truely, you guys have made all the difference, particularly in the last couple days… You all are the reason that I’m trying to be strong….

Ok… and I need to take this oportunity to give a shout-out to SARAH MULDER!!  Last night I was snowed in at Karens house, and her sister also couldnt make it home… it made for some much needed girl-chat, and some entertaining Greys Anatomy….  Sorry I gave away the ending guys… its a skill I tell you….  It was just too predictable.

 Anyways… hard as it is to fight when you dont feel like you have any fight left, I want you to know that I am in this battle with myself….. and with all your prayers, my awesome family, and God on my side, I know this is something that somehow, someday, I’ll get through…. 

Thank you.

 

part of psalm 34…

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
       he delivers them from all their troubles.  The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
       and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

 A righteous man may have many troubles,
       but the LORD delivers him from them all.

Psalm 86

A prayer of David.

 1 Hear, O LORD, and answer me,
       for I am poor and needy. 2 Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.
       You are my God; save your servant
       who trusts in you.

 3 Have mercy on me, O Lord,
       for I call to you all day long.

 4 Bring joy to your servant,
       for to you, O Lord,
       I lift up my soul.

 5 You are forgiving and good, O Lord,
       abounding in love to all who call to you.

 6 Hear my prayer, O LORD;
       listen to my cry for mercy.

 7 In the day of my trouble I will call to you,
       for you will answer me.

 8 Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord;
       no deeds can compare with yours.

 9 All the nations you have made
       will come and worship before you, O Lord;
       they will bring glory to your name.

 10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
       you alone are God.

 11 Teach me your way, O LORD,
       and I will walk in your truth;
       give me an undivided heart,
       that I may fear your name.

 12 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
       I will glorify your name forever.

 13 For great is your love toward me;
       you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

 14 The arrogant are attacking me, O God;
       a band of ruthless men seeks my life—
       men without regard for you.

 15 But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
       slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

 16 Turn to me and have mercy on me;
       grant your strength to your servant
       and save the son of your maidservant. 

 17 Give me a sign of your goodness,
       that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
       for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

~~~~~~~~

A friend pointed me to this Psalm… My prayer is that God will indeed help and comfort me…  but I’m definitly not at that point.  Thank you for your support and prayers everyone, it scares me to think where I might be without you.  Please continue to pray… for Nick as well…  thanks.